Just tryin' to keep it in line.
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind.
Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?
I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town.
I got the green light,
I got a little fight.
I'm gonna turn this thing around.
topics of the night: reasons vs excuses; the draw of convenience; service vs sacrifice
Nothing beats Chipotle with an old chatty friend, browsing mags at B&N, Creamsicles and the Obama NBC White House Special with Brian Williams. Michelle Obama is charming... I gush. Malia will grow up gorgeous. Oh sighh I love the First Family.
difference between a reason and excuse: a reason has a followup, a story, an explanation that buttresses its motivation, intention, eventual manifestation. an excuse is of itself...with little more rhyme or reason other than to be the truth-- because an excuse is anything but that.
the draw of convenience hurt me. the number that made me feel less than the imaginary I had created. here I am flesh and blood, spilling my heart out...and the mere representation of proximity...told me something I needed to realized, couldnt on my own but now do. Dont ask what you're not ready to hear. I asked and now I'm not ready to listen. I can only be here. Just here...instincts are misleading, I shouldnt think what I'm feeling...I shouldn't...but it reminds me.
The Obama Special really moved me. They covered Obama's White House and what changes has come around since his move. They did a segment on how the staff made tough decisions to choose service to his administration... and the sacrifices of leaving their family back. An honor but a choice. That is such a powerful feeling. The sense that you are doing something out of pure love. I had worked on the campaign of a US congresswoman for 2 years and it is one of my best jobs to date. I worked as a campaign fundraiser. The draw was doing something different everyday...never mundane and never the same. The love of doing the groundwork then zooming off to a meeting or big event. The work days that would stetch from 4 to 5 to 9 to 11 to 1 as we got closer to election day. and then 1 million fold that...is the only way I can imagine what working on the Obama campaign could be like, and then having the privilege working on his staff. Amazing. A life I so admire. In that kind of life, I wouldnt mind being at work til 1 am.
I am drained on so many fronts and yet...I still believe.
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