Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions. — Anais Nin
Maybe love won’t let you down, all of your failures are training ground. — Rilo Kiley, The Absence of God
Each lover that doesn’t work gives you a new set of eyes and another piece of baggage to carry around with you. Sometimes though, some of the baggage gets taken by someone who loves you enough for the both of you. — Anaïs Escobar, Love Notebook #6
The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope. — Walter Benjamin
Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. — Rumi
It’s there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I… and I’m home. Please… I don’t want that to go away. — Finding Nemo
And... So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. — Paulo Coelho
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. — Douglas Adams
you can seem to have it all or rather, be deemed to have it all by the unobservant eye. pretty face, cute clothes, school+work, social festivities with family and friends galore. but....theres always those days.
but baby, don't you know that those things are the very things that makes us worry about what tomorrow would look like or not look like. the fragile ways in which we live. the missteps that beckons us and those around us.
that light...too bright. that mirror...too clear. and with time, like any gorgeous piece of jewelry, that glisten will fade and another begging to be the one to replace it all too cleanly. as if the prior never was.
your gentle words beg me to reconsider. a beacon in the storm...faintly it shines its way through but its too cold from here. from the lone post i occupy-- life is too short to live like this. but i wouldnt know how else to. its not so unbelievable. its just hard to believe that there's any other way. its all like a distant star I cant hold.
I can't take you close to where I am. that fact will send you farther than anywhere anyone has ever been. I'm not where I belong.
your words...let them please carry me to you. love, I get so lost sometimes. I drive myself away.
There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
— Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself To Live
There's nothing left to say Don't waste another day Just you and me tonight Everything will be okay If it's alright with you then it's alright with me Baby let's take this time let's make new memories
Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Let's bring it back Let's bring it back
After my last final tomorrow at 1 pm (eck!) I'll be off to NorCal for two weeks visiting friends and family for the holidays. Be back in time for NYE in SoCal!!
Until then, think of all the times we've shared in the past year ...let's take this time and make new memories :D
speechless. really...this was aired within the last few years...I guess I need to get that pinkish white glow or else I'm effed. Who green-light these things??!!!
"Show me how you do that trick The one that makes me scream" "The one that makes me laugh" And I threw my arms around his neck "Show me how you do it And I promise you I promise that I'll run away with you I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge He kissed my face and kissed my head And he dreamed of all the different ways he knew To make me glow
"Why are you so far away?" "Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you That I'm in love with you"
when you look back on the of the best days of your life ...who will you see in them?
because im suppose to be studying for my last final. but i'm tempted. and i usually can never fight against that feeliing. especially when its regarding an exam on the horizon.
anyhow. I'm one of those girls who loves to dig. if curiosity ever killed a cat, I'm pretty sure I'd be the first to get through my nine lives and then some. so i always ask TG questions pretty randomly...needless to say some are inappropriate if you know me... then I always follow up those up with more questions until he gets that look on his face like "why do girls have to ask so many questions? why cant you just be?" but I get a few answers in before I see that...
so he says he misses me. so i ask him...you know, because I HAVE to ask him "what do you miss?" (i think i said i miss you too...im sure i did...well at least he should know...anyways)... and he's like ummmmmmmm....*speaks on other topics to try to deter me from asking a million of these questions in a day...so I entertain him and talk about plans, studying, friends and home. then i ask..."are you going to answer me?"...(lol) and he's says "i miss laughing with you."
I was taken back by the sincerity of his answer. Because isn't that one of the greatest things when you're with someone--boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, sister, brother?
its that moment where you burst out laughing, smiles uncontrolled and wiped of all worry of how you'd look to the passing observer? the uproar of laughter that sounds like happiness sparkling its tangible tingle? the shared common humor that relieves everything else as secondary. its that momentary vacation in the midst of a whirlwind of everyday moments.
happiness, evidenced.
on another note...i'm obsessed with alaskan malamute and siberian husky puppies. le sigh.
"But then, shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way -- never to be an old woman -- but then -- always to have lessons to learn!" -AIW
happy birthday to one of the most fashionable, fun-loving and thoughtful girls ever! you always make every day a celebration for those around you and I hope that today-- you are reminded of how much YOU are a gift to all of us!
Fav memory: sending/creating those dirty acronyms for torts!!
hot. pretty. cute. to be all three would be awesome, no?
although there's plenty of girls who embrace each of those categories--shes hot, shes cute...you get the jest-- im so wowed when someone can captivate all three. it makes them not as hot, or not as pretty, or not as cute as any of those other "just" hot/pretty/cute girls but it really possesses a charm in and of itself.
(megan fox=hot, pretty maybe but not cute. umm penelope cruz=pretty, maybe hot but not cute, etc etc)
example?
1. Miranda Kerr
2. Rio Matsumoto
3. Charlize Theron
4. Rachel McAdams
5. Hayden Panettiere
boy division
1. Jude Law
that's all. haha i thought of jude law and then i couldn't think of anyone else.
on weekends like these which are filled with friends and family, laughter and just simple happiness..its amazing when you take a step back and think about how everything you are, love, feel, desire, are interested in and just enjoy are brought upon by all the people who have touched your life, spent a day with, spent one passing thought with or opened you to a new experience in the past many years. you are a random and exquisite collection of everyone who has come and gone in your life. some still remain-- as they always will be, some were passing seasons who changed you in ultimate ways but remain only written pages in past chapters, some are visitors with no alert but bring about sudden surprises while others left one imprint, lasting but subtle and still.
and then there are still others..who will always feel like home...no matter how far you are from it.
A winter wonderland right here in the middle of the city that wouldn't know snow if they saw it...
The W Hotel in Westwood has replaced its pool with an ice skating rink so you can pull out those fabulous faux fur caps and earmuffs to take a spin with your honey...as well as some warm spirited hot chocolate after all that work to look oh so snow bunny appropriate...what could be better than this? Rockefeller who?
Once when she and I were sitting at the edge of a swimming pool, she filled the palm of her hand with some water and held it before me, and said this: “You see this water carefully contained on my hand? It symbolizes Love.”
This was how she saw it: As long as you keep your hand gently open and allow it to remain there, it will always be there. However, if you attempt to close your fingers round it and try to possess it, it will spill through the first cracks it finds. This is the greatest mistake that people do when they meet love. They try to posses, own, demand, and expect… and just like the water spilling out of your hand, love will retrieve from you. For love is meant to be free, you cannot change its nature. If there are people you love, allow them to be free beings.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I can only be what I am in this moment.
The sum of parts -- fragmented to days, weeks, and years that have become me.
Maybe this isnt where I'm suppose to be heading but today, at this very second, is the place I stand.
The past is never remembered as it was. The future is never sure. Failure is only guaranteed when my steps are too far ahead of the right now. I take a breath. And another. And surely, I remember, this is where I want to be. This is how I'm living.
I've been really blessed lately to be surrounded by kind friends, an adorable bf and opportunities that I am so grateful for. as this year will be a guaranteed whirlwind, I am enjoying the calm right now. Friday night I went clubbing with my roommate and a good friend from law school. We met up with my bff from law school and her boy and then I saw another good friend from college that I have been very lucky to be seeing like every other week. I appreciate being able to have all the people from different times in my life and beautiful people at that -- coming together and enjoying each others company. It makes me feel whole and I hope that it gives all my friends a better understanding of me. I love gatherings of people, introducing strangers and seeing people hit it off. After a night of dancing at the infamous Opera, Tinman and I stayed up and talked girls, dating, love and gossip. On Saturday- I get an early wakeup call for brunch at Daikokuya...only the best ramen in downtown ever!! Coupled with some japanese kirin milk tea. sigh-- life is so grand. Bear picked me up and we got to spend a quiet evening together where we attempted to cook and it came out "ok." We dashed off to Couples Retreat which was really cute in a cheesy coupley kinda a way. we then met up with le parfait amour and her panda and his college friends for some drinks at the Balcony. Sunday, Bear made this super yummie breakfast sandwich and then we fell back asleep not intending to. We woke up pretty out of sync so we went for a long run with Emi. Came back and explored Bear's parents jacuzzi-- party lights in the jacuzzi??!! what??!! attempt two at dinner but this time it came out so good! we had sea scallops in a ginger sauce, grilled ny steak, corn and of course rice. i was so embarrassed when his brother complimented my scallops lol. I then finally got to watch the truman show which i loved in a heart wrenching kind of way. we scrabbled til 1 am and then i read him to bed. <3 complete. tonight, after a day of work, i got serenaded on the piano via phone...melt. with the rain pouring outside here in LA, i gathered up my mentees and some friends and their mentees and went to O Dae Sae where we had TEN DOLLARS all you can eat kbbq. It was so much fun, again getting to see everyone meet everyone else and have good fun and good conversation over some delicious food. the night was a success!! the question now is..where to next?? maybe all you can eat sushi??
the week is looking great-- dineLA dinner date tomorrow at Tengu in Westwood with Bear + a much missed mid week visit. Kaskade on Friday with bff and then PILF auction casino night on Saturday :) Pictures surely to come!!
I am lucky. I am grateful. I am blessed. I am happy.
No, I'm not getting married (yet...give me 4-5 years...fingers crossed? haha). I did a shoot for a really talented up and coming wedding photographer for his website. The location is at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Downtown Los Angeles. Awesome background, dont you think?
New job today. Yayyyyy but its next to the Century City Westfield Mall in Beverly Hills. Ahhh sighh. Temptation why do you haunt me like so?
