Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
I have those days where I feel you falling, when you're drunk on my kiss, and you cant help but be by me. I am consumed by the way it feels, how it shows in your every touch and how it gives me this indefinable high. I have that feeling thats borderline excited and nervous all at the same time. I wonder what it'd be like if I felt like this all the time. Encompassed with rapture and all the little things you do that makes me swell and seemingly want to burst. I wonder if that how I make you feel...I wonder if it makes you so scared to be so happy.
there are some weeks where you're totally on top of the world...everything is in tune and in sync...but you can feel that it might end. it might break if you're not careful. and the desperation to hold on to that high is so intense that you know you're going to squeeze all the air thats necessary to maintain it.
then you do. then the following weeks/days become the stark reality against which you slip into that despair of tasting the sweetness and having lost it. but you saw it coming, you knew it had to be and you can just sit and wait for the conditions to cycle you back to that spot again.
anyhow-- spent this weekend studying, working out, watching daybreakers which i think i love but only everything before the ending and then drinking myself to submission with bear at yardhouse. dont ever do that when youre emotionally unstable over school/career stuff. not a pretty scene. then had a leisurely sunday getting conned by "lost tapes" on the animal planet which almost brought me to tears and proves in 3 hours to be the most addictive show...to be disappointed that the "real lost tapes and footage" was not at all that--real. wtf. bummer to the tenth degree. spent the rest of the day strolling around farmers market and then ended the day with lounging, pillow talk and the wedding planner/failure to launch.
today, had class all day, complete with a boba run, happy hour, paranormal activity movie night and JERSEY SHORE. haha soooo addicting-- like watching a car accident-- just. cant. look. away. must learn how to duck.
“I miss you. Whenever something funny happens, I always want you to tell you about it.”
— Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Sex and the City
“Who you want to be is not nearly as important as who you are right now.”
“There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live…..the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.”
— Alexandre Dumas
“Good relationships balance over time. This means that at any particular point in time, the relationship may appear quite unbalanced: One partner may be more nurturing; one may be more needy; one may be providing all the financial support, etc. But if both partners are loving, understanding, giving, dedicated and flexible, then the relationship can handle all kinds of ups and downs, and still be strong, exciting and, yes, romantic. The best relationships are well balanced. Not a delicate balance; not a static balance- but a dynamic ever-changing balance.”
— Gregory Godek
“Sleeping to dream about you, and I’m so tired of having to live without you, but I don’t mind cause I’m sleeping to dream about you.”
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.” — Washington Irving
"Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music." Sergei Rachmaninov
already perfect.
in these certain moments, i am so here, so myself. the person i see in me is happy, content. secure. but then at others, i'm so far from here.
i want you to always bring me back to myself. bring me back to you. the words I remember that drown me in your love will hold me with out touch.
Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions. — Anais Nin
Maybe love won’t let you down, all of your failures are training ground. — Rilo Kiley, The Absence of God
Each lover that doesn’t work gives you a new set of eyes and another piece of baggage to carry around with you. Sometimes though, some of the baggage gets taken by someone who loves you enough for the both of you. — Anaïs Escobar, Love Notebook #6
The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope. — Walter Benjamin
Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. — Rumi
It’s there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I… and I’m home. Please… I don’t want that to go away. — Finding Nemo
And... So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you. — Paulo Coelho
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. — Douglas Adams
you can seem to have it all or rather, be deemed to have it all by the unobservant eye. pretty face, cute clothes, school+work, social festivities with family and friends galore. but....theres always those days.
but baby, don't you know that those things are the very things that makes us worry about what tomorrow would look like or not look like. the fragile ways in which we live. the missteps that beckons us and those around us.
that light...too bright. that mirror...too clear. and with time, like any gorgeous piece of jewelry, that glisten will fade and another begging to be the one to replace it all too cleanly. as if the prior never was.
your gentle words beg me to reconsider. a beacon in the storm...faintly it shines its way through but its too cold from here. from the lone post i occupy-- life is too short to live like this. but i wouldnt know how else to. its not so unbelievable. its just hard to believe that there's any other way. its all like a distant star I cant hold.
I can't take you close to where I am. that fact will send you farther than anywhere anyone has ever been. I'm not where I belong.
your words...let them please carry me to you. love, I get so lost sometimes. I drive myself away.
There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
— Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself To Live
There's nothing left to say Don't waste another day Just you and me tonight Everything will be okay If it's alright with you then it's alright with me Baby let's take this time let's make new memories
Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Do you remember do you remember do you remember All of the times we had Let's bring it back Let's bring it back
After my last final tomorrow at 1 pm (eck!) I'll be off to NorCal for two weeks visiting friends and family for the holidays. Be back in time for NYE in SoCal!!
Until then, think of all the times we've shared in the past year ...let's take this time and make new memories :D
