and sometimes, something else happens

I cant say I wasnt devasted. Am devasted. But sometimes, something happens and as much as you hate it, it happened. You pick up the pieces of what's left and you hope to God you have it in you to continue, to make it out ok and honestly, prove yourself worthy. Positive thinking is nice, when you're positive. But in the depths of your fatigue and any single thread left of your confidence, you just gotta do what's gotta be done. If this is what it takes, this is what I'm going to have to do.

tell you something -alicia keys

guess i caught up everyday
trying to keep it all together
while the time just slips away
i know nothing lasts forever

imagine there was tomorrow
imagine that i couldnt see ur face
there aint no limit to my sorrow
so all i can say

i wanna tell u something
give u something
show u in so many ways
'cause it would all mean nothing
if i dont say something
before it all goes away
dont wanna wait to bring you flowers
waste another hour
let alone another day
im gonna tell u something
show you something
wont wait til its too late

i cant wait, i cant wait, i wont wait, i dont wanna wait
i cant wait, i cant wait, i wont wait, i dont wanna wait
wont wait til its to late

just a simple conversation
just a moment is all i takes
i wanna be there just to listen
i wanna be here
& i dont wanna hesitate

imagine there was tomorrow
imagine that i couldnt see ur face
there aint no limit to my sorrow
'cause there is nothing that can fill that space
i put it off for too long
i didnt say all that i had to say
i wanna take the time to right the wrong
before we get to that place

just lean on my shoulder
its is not over til its over
dont worry about it
cuz im gonna make sure our bond gets stronger
i dont wanna wait until the storm
theres nothing wrong & now your gone & i cant find ya

..I've finally crashed into the wall that you've built.

Something more

It's funny when we think back at our notions of what we thought we wanted in another until you're with someone who changes all that. I use to think I wanted this overly mushy cuddly boy or maybe someone who would give me everything I wanted...someone who let me be a brat bc he was powerless over me... But what I want, what I have, is an equal partner. Someone who won't let me be bratty bc he expects more from me, someone who is different that teaches me the things I never cared to listen to from anyone else, someone who knows what I am capable of and doesn't expect anything less...someone who cares and likes me enough to let me be an individual first and not to be defined or limited by a role, a projection...

Nothing but time and a face that you'll lose... I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose

God, that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said, "Yes, I think we've met before"
In that instant it started to pour

Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you never got in
And now you're outside me, you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

Nothing but time and a face that you'll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard, I'll send you the news
From the house down the road from real love

Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back
Live through this and you won't look back

There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

the luckiest

Every day poses a novel experiment. What is it about you that I like so much? The first year of these tests and trials, of course, comes up with the usual, conventional answers: your smile, our common interests, our big event memories, the whole knowing each other process. The second year is riff with maybe more intimate observations: the confidence you instill in me when I am lacking, your ability to take care of me when my energy is poured elsewhere or just the slow process of finding out that this person really does just fit with you.

But lately, I think I've come closer to the heart of it. Its your ability-- somehow, someway-- in a crowded room, your one look, can make me feel perfectly happy. Perfectly content in my own skin. Its because you're able to show me what I look like in your eyes. And through my faults, through our flaws, through all of it...knowing, sensing, and seeing that how you make me feel is mirrored in how I make you feel. That is, just at the heart of all of this.

can't run from it

Ahh ahh
can you place yourself in a moment's notice,
in my situation?
Increasingly you've made me cold and afraid,
a lonely companion.
Apparently love runs on one way courses,
away from contentment.
Or maybe there's anger that can't be expressed,
that fuels your resentment.

If you gave me a chance to show you,
would I come back and show you?
If you gave me a chance to love you,
could I come back and love you?
I gave you everything, but I couldn't give enough.
Then you threw stones at me
and said that they were thrown in love.

Turns out that I don't really love you at all,
'cause love would find forgiveness.

Save your ammunition for somebody else,
I'm all second chances.
Save your ammunition for somebody else,
I'm all second chances.

Nothing's good, nothing's right, but I love you.
Nothing's good, nothing's right, but I love you